Blog Post #8

Easily, the most important improvement I need to make to my paper is grammar and fluidity. I tend to read over common grammar mistakes that cause a disruption in my paper. This disruption in the paper stops the flow of the ideas and distracts from what I am actually trying to say. One way I can help get rid of this problem is through reading the paper out loud to myself. Oftentimes, grammar errors can be more obvious in speech rather then when we read because when we read we tend to self correct, especially our own paper since we already know what we are trying to say.

Second, I need to work on clarity. In my paper, I address the military, the community, and the individual. Oftentimes, I will be talking about an idea of a certain group, however I become unaware that the reader may not be sure which group I am talking about in that specific analysis. In being clearer, it will strengthen my argument through adding to my credibility that I know what I am talking about. When the ideas become jumbled, it would be easy for the reader to become confused and frustrated with the paper, taking away from the claim I am taking on the military.

Third, I need to make sure I am not using to many words to all say the same thing. I find myself using synonyms frequently in my analysis under the impression this will improve my claim. Through the repetitiveness of my word choice, my argument tends to make a redundant impression, however. Being more sweet and to the point will allow me to be portrayed as more confident in what I am saying versus wordy and unsure. Also, getting to the point will guide the readers through my thought process I intended through the organization pattern I intentionally set up in the piece.